Répondez, s’il vous plaît….maybe we should be writing this in English instead? Is that where everything falls apart?

There has not been a single wedding or event that I have thrown where I haven’t had to chase down invited guests to find out if they planned to attend or not. And, if they were attending, were they flying solo or bringing a guest? Oh, and what are they eating? It always amazed me at the amount of people I would have to call, email, or text to find out what their plans were.

My clients, especially my brides, are planning huge events that require a lot of time and energy. There are frequent tough decisions that need to be made and in that last 6-8 weeks leading up to the big day, there can be some major stress that they have to deal with. The absolute last thing my clients need is to be finding out what the final headcount is. Hence, I do it for them. 

However, I had to write a blog about this, because I wanted there to be an understanding about R.S.V.P’ing. When an event is planned, the caterer or the venue needs a final headcount typically between 10-20 days prior to the date of the event. This typically means headcount along with what everyone will be eating. A phone call to a bride 72 hours before the event to RSVP just doesn’t fly. Especially when the bride has ordered linens which are based on the table size which is based on the headcount which was needed 2 months ago.

Then there are the hotel blocks and the transportation needs. For a wedding, there are typically a block of rooms set aside for guests. The hotel holds these rooms until a specific date (which was probably included in the invitation or on the wedding website) and after that, the rooms go away. I cannot tell you the number of phone calls I receive from my brides 1-2 weeks before their wedding because Aunt Millie called them to say “the hotel is out of rooms, what am I supposed to do?” Should’ve thought about that sooner, right?

Of course, typically my clients go another step to think even more about their guests and provide shuttles and transportation. The transportation companies sometimes request that these shuttles are booked months in advance. This means that you cannot suddenly decided on the day of the wedding that you’re going to hop on board. If there is no room, sitting on someone’s lap isn’t cool either. Yes, I have seen it almost happen.

I guess this blog is a desperate plea. Please, if you receive an invitation to any kind of event, but especially a wedding, RSVP right away. Like, while the invitation is in your hand. Just walk on over to the calendar (I still have one hanging on my fridge) and see if you can make it. Then either pick up the phone and RSVP or send in the RSVP card (do what the invitation asks…because sending a text to say that you are coming when you are supposed to mail back the card that they paid to have put together is not acceptable). Then, boom! You’re done! You have RSVP’d, it’s on the calendar and you have made my clients very happy. Oh, and me too. I know we probably won’t even meet until the day of the event, and maybe not even then, but trust me that I’m thankful. 

Please do not make my clients or me chase after you. There really is no reason for it. It’s awkward. Like walking in on someone using the bathroom and that someone is your ex’s new significant other, awkward.

RSVP. Please.

…and thank you.


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