How do you know if you need a wedding planner? Well, as a professional wedding planner, I believe that there are some couples that need a wedding planner and there are some that should never consider hiring one at all.
Yes, it’s true. I literally make my living by planning weddings and I am telling you that not everyone needs a wedding planner. In fact, some couples would only stress themselves out by hiring one.
So how you do you know what category you fall in? A wedding planner should be the first person you hire during the wedding planning process….yes, even before you select a venue.
If you’re not sure about hiring a wedding planner, then let this wedding planner tell you whether or not it would be a good idea.
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How Do I Know If I Need A Wedding Planner?
There is no clear cut answer to this question but over the past 14 years, I have been a wedding planner and I know that not everyone should hire one. This might seem a ridiculous blog for me to write because I am essentially saying not everyone needs me, but the fact is-
Not everyone does.
I have come up with a list of reasons you should hire a wedding planner and a list of reasons not to. Read on to see which category you fall into and hopefully you won’t fall into both!
5 Signs You Do Need a Wedding Planner
Number 1: You work a full time job, as does your fiancé
This might seem obvious, but most people don’t realize that wedding planning is a full time job. In fact, I work close to 50 hours a week when I don’t even have a wedding on the weekend. While I am always planning multiple weddings at once, each one requires a significant amount of work.
As a professional wedding planner, I have access to venues and vendor contacts that the average couple does not. I have cell phone numbers and yes, they are far more likely to answer me a lot quicker than you will get an answer. Why?
Because I bring them consistent business and they know I am a professional and not wasting their time.
If you only have weeknights and weekends available to plan your wedding, that’s honestly not going to cut it. Most venues and vendors aren’t available on the weekends because weddings and we all try to maintain somewhat of a normal life as well….which means 8pm phone calls aren’t happening.
Full time jobs? You need a full time wedding planner.
Number 2: Your wedding is at your home or another private location
I have planned countless private home weddings and anyone that tells you a wedding planner isn’t necessary is lying and wants you to fail. There really isn’t any other way to say it.
If you are getting married at a wedding venue, a lot of what you need is going to be at the venue. This is going to include food, beverage, all of your rentals, and a huge staff overseeing it all.
At home? You’re bringing everything in and the coordination for selecting and securing these items will begin at the beginning of the planning process. At a venue you can use their plates and glassware and at home you’ll need to select what you want, get the quantity correct, and deal with delivery, set-up, breakdown, and return.
You can’t do all of that without a professional wedding planner and that’s just the start of your problems.
The work that goes into a private home wedding is extensive and frankly, you don’t know what you don’t know. Even if you were to buckle down and spend months studying how to have an at home wedding, the internet isn’t going to be much of an assist. Save yourself the desire to elope cause you’re sick of it all and get the wedding planner for your backyard wedding.
Number 3: Your venue and/or vendors require a wedding planner
There are wedding venues everywhere that require a wedding planner. Some venues simply do not have the staff on hand while others admit that their staff works for the wedding and the wedding planner works for the couple.
When it comes to a wedding venue requiring a wedding planner, sometimes you can get away just bringing in a “Day Of” coordinator. Now, while we do not offer that service, there are plenty of companies that do. That said, that level of service is minimal and only comes in at the tail end of the planning process.
This means you are on your own for everything until the last two months…that’s the point the DOC will take over, working only with what you have put together.
Many vendors are also now figuring out that a wedding planner makes the entire wedding day run smoother. I know plenty of photographers especially who refuse to take clients who don’t have a wedding planner.
Now, if the professionals are telling you to get one, maybe it’s not such a bad idea.
Number 4: You are indecisive and unorganized
I couldn’t care less how many parties and events you have planned because nothing compares to planning a wedding. In fact, that is one of the main reasons why weddings are the most expensive event to throw. There are more emotions shoved into a wedding than any birthday party or graduation celebration you could possibly imagine.
When you get engaged and people ask you what your wedding plans are, does your mind go blank? Can you not even remember your favorite color? Or maybe you know your favorite color but that won’t work for a wedding? Or would it work in a potential venue? If these questions are causing anxiety, you need a wedding planner.
Got a thousand Pinterest boards that look like a hot mess because you like everything? You need a wedding planner.
Having a wedding planner is literally the same as paying for peace of mind. We are the most organized people on the planet and know how to keep everything straight. I mean, I did mention I am planning multiple weddings at the same time right? So, if I wasn’t organized AF, I couldn’t do that.
Number 5: You want to get married in a location that isn’t local to you
I see so many couples say they are having a small destination wedding and therefore do not need a wedding planner. That could not be further from the truth.
Remember what I said about having the time to plan a wedding? Well if you’re switching time zones or planning something seventeen states away, you need a professional that knows how to handle weddings everywhere.
Having planned weddings all over the world, I can tell you that what you would expect from a New Jersey wedding will be very different than what you should expect from a Utah location…and so on and so forth.
This comes back to the “you don’t know what you don’t know” statement. Well, you really don’t know if the wedding isn’t local. Not to mention that coordinating everything leading up to and into the wedding weekend is not something you’ll want to deal with.
5 Signs You Don’t Need A Wedding Planner
1. You are “Type A” but that just means you’re impossible and only value your own opinion
I have had so many brides describe themselves as “Type A” to me and initially that sets off red flags. Why? Because people tend to describe themselves that way to excuse how impossible they are to please.
I am not saying you should settle for anything, but if you have gone through your life and prefer your suggestions to anyone else’s ever on any subject, then a wedding planner would be a waste of money for you.
One of the best things about hiring a wedding planner, for instance, is that they will know which wedding venues and vendors are worth it and which ones to stay away from. But if you overlook bad behavior and will find someway to justify still looking at that venue or potentially hiring that vendor, then don’t hire the wedding planner.
Set your money on fire instead if you do.
2. The wedding venue and vendors are theoretically decided
One of the most frustrating aspects of being a wedding planner is making vendor recommendations and having them all turned down because a client wants to hire someone else specifically. Doesn’t matter if it’s a professional, a friend, or a family member…There have been times when it didn’t matter that I found three perfect florists for my couple if they already decided they found the perfect choice on Instagram.
Wedding planners spend years curating their venue and vendor lists. In fact, I am frequently hit up by people who say they don’t need a wedding planner but want to know who I recommend for invitations or flowers or music or whatever.
Newsflash…My venue and vendor recommendations are based on the couple I am working with. I have 10 florists that I love to work with in the New Jersey area alone, but not all of them are right for all of my couples. A photographer I would recommend for one of my couples could potentially be the worst recommendation for another.
Why? Because weddings are snowflakes; no two are the same. So if I am making these recommendations but you’re just gonna use your choices anyway, then why are you paying me?
If this is you, don’t hire a wedding planner.
3. You do not have the ability to be honest
Wedding planners fall into that group of people that you should never lie to. You know like doctors, lawyers, and mob bosses. You wouldn’t lie to any of them and you shouldn’t lie to a wedding planner.
I know everything about my couples that I need to know. This includes how much they want to spend and on what, and what divorces and nasty relationships I need to be aware of on the wedding day.
My open and transparent personality tends to attract couples that are the same way. I cannot work with guarded couples who treat me like the help or an assistant (more on that later). While I make that pretty clear during my consultations, other wedding planners may not.
But I promise you, keeping information from your wedding planner will only hurt your wedding in the long run. So, if you can’t trust your wedding planner the way you trust your best friend, then do not hire one.
4. Mom is going to run everything
One time I got fired from a wedding because the mother of the bride decided she wanted to take over. In reality, she never wanted to not be in charge and I should’ve never been hired in the first place.
Quick story…for that wedding I had been hired after the venue had been secured. Nothing else had been done and while we planned together we secured the band, the photographer, the hotel blocks, and the video team. Next on the list was a florist and despite my awesome recommendations that fit the aesthetic and budget of my couple, there was one florist that mom insisted we speak with who was not on my list and never will be due to their shady business practices.
The bride called me and vented for TWO hours about how scared she was of her mother. She said for one of the floral quotes from one of my florists that it needed to be higher because her mom would see that and think it’s “too cheap”….it was a $30K proposal but whatever fine.
Meanwhile, I called the other florist mom wanted and they told me it would start at $60k. I told mom this and she said that was too high and she was going to take over because this just “wasn’t a fit” anymore.
Truthfully, it never was a fit because mom wanted to run the show and the bride was too scared to say anything else. If this sounds like your mom, then do not hire a planner.
5. You’re looking for an assistant, not a planner
There are some people that look at wedding planners as “the help” and treat them as such. They keep them at arm’s length and never take advantage of everything a wedding planner can help them with because they’re too busy giving them…well…busy work.
A wedding planner is more than someone who turns over a list of recommended vendors and venues. A wedding planner is more than someone who schedules tours, calls, and zoom meetings.
If you’re looking for an administrative assistant or someone who you dictate “chores” to instead of someone you plan with then hiring a planner isn’t going to be what you need.
There are people you can hire to be an assistant to answer your emails but paying a wedding planner to do this is just ridiculous.
So, do you know if you need a wedding planner now?
What on these lists resonated with you? Did you find yourself leaning towards hiring a planner but after this blog realizing it won’t be terribly beneficial to you?
Or, did you look at this list and realize just how helpful a wedding planner can be and how you need to start the wedding planning process by hiring one?
Let me know in the comments if you’ll be hiring a wedding planner or not and why! If you already finished your wedding planning and had the big day, did you hire a wedding planner or not and would you do it all the same?
