We’re not sure why this is becoming common, but more and more we are seeing non-engaged people already planning their wedding. This isn’t about the endless Pinterest boards with wedding ideas for a day long in the future, this is about actually venue and vendor shopping without one necessary item: an engagement.
A few years back we were contacted by a woman that wanted to consult with us for planning services. We set up an appointment and took time out of our day to meet with her for close to 2 hours. Her ideas were lovely and the entire concept she had in mind sounded so exciting. She was a bit non-traditional, so we didn’t question her when she showed up without any bling on her finger.
And then we found out. Engaged? Nope. She later admitted to us that “he hasn’t given me the ring yet, but I know it’s coming.”
Stop. The. Madness.
Recently, we spoke with another professional in the field who also met with a woman sans engagement. In fact, her boyfriend probably won’t be proposing to her anytime soon, but she is venue shopping for the future. This non-engaged girlfriend toured a venue and took up an appointment for a wedding that may or may not ever happen.
We get it, weddings are exciting and planning is fun. But if you aren’t engaged, just stay on Pinterest until you are. There is not one reason, at all, to be setting up appointments to view venues that you like or meet with any vendors for your special day. One of the first questions you will be asked is “have you set a date?” or something along those lines….so it will come out that you haven’t set a date because no one has even asked you to marry them yet.
Besides wasting your time, it wastes the time of the professionals you are meeting with. Maybe the ring is coming soon and maybe you’ve even been shopping together, but if you don’t show up with a little sparkle on your finger, you are going to be questioned. Plus, the engagement period should be exciting and fun and you will be racing from appointment to appointment to show off the new bling. Until then though, he is not your “hubby” and you are not his “wifey” (in fact, please don’t use those terms without that second ring called a wedding band).
We want to celebrate with you and plan your special day, but it is unfair to everyone involved (you too) to start planning without blueprints. What happens if that ring never comes?
….and that girl we met with years ago? The one where the ring was coming?
We never heard from her again…..