You’re cordially invited to spend your entire holiday weekend at our wedding. Because we’re important and you didn’t have anything else to do.
So clearly, I think holiday weddings are a mess. Yet, over the years I’ve watched couples get married over Fourth of July, Labor Day…even Christmas.
To all of the brides who do this, I say “tsk tsk”. The only thought going through the minds of the people you are inviting is “There goes my holiday and one of the only breaks I get all year.” Trust me, not many will be excited.
That said: Is it your wedding? Yes. Can you have it anyway you want? OF COURSE! But there is a point where you need to think of your guests before selecting the date. And if you’re hoping to cut costs and make money back from your guests…guess again, especially when some of your guests don’t show up. Despite etiquette rules, most won’t send gifts if they are invited, but then don’t come. Shame on those guests, but that’s another story.
One of the arguments for having a holiday wedding is that things will be cheaper. Let me shed some light on that having worked on weddings where the bride insisted on a holiday wedding.
There is a good chance that the venue will be cheaper. While the venue is a big price tag to worry about, let’s not forget all of the other ones you will need to keep in mind:
Vendors: florists, photographers, videographers, and yes, even officiants are going to charge you more money. If you have your wedding on a holiday weekend or, worse, directly on that holiday, you will have your vendors charging you more for giving up their time that they otherwise would not have been working. I have watched vendors raise their rates solely because a wedding was on a holiday weekend. It happens, so be prepared.
You may be limited to the vendors you can hire now because of a. limited availability (it’s a holiday, duh face) and b. they raise their prices because…it’s a holiday…did I mention that already?
But let’s say that you’re one of those lucky brides where budget isn’t even a concern. To you, I say mazel tov. What’s the pricetag on your friendships and your relationship with your family members?
I’ve heard brides with holiday weddings say “I don’t care if people don’t want to come. If they don’t want to come because it’s a holiday, then they don’t have to.” These same brides have been MISERABLE on the day of their weddings when they see how many people in fact do not show up. And, again, despite the fact that etiquette dictates that the people that receive invitations are still supposed to send gifts, trust me, you won’t receive many if any at all. It is very hard for most brides to see on the day of their wedding how empty the venue is. Make sure that’s something you can handle. Be honest with yourself.
I’ve also heard brides say “If people don’t show up, that just shows we’re not really friends”. First of all, stop inviting 500+ people that you never see or spend time with. Those people aren’t your friends in the first place and why you want them at your wedding is beyond my comprehension. Second of all, just because people don’t come, doesn’t mean they aren’t your friends. It means it’s a holiday and you’re not being a good friend by picking your wedding date and having no respect for anyone else.
I know this post is harsh and I’ve probably offended some brides. To those brides I say, you’ve offended a good portion of your guest list.
My advice is to avoid holiday weddings at all costs. You will lost relationships no matter how strong you think they are. Also, even though you think you might be saving money on the venue, do not forget the rest of the items you have to purchase that will be more expensive because you just HAD to deck the halls on your wedding day.
I promise I’ll be nice in my next entry. And even though this is harsh, it simply serves a warning. Brides that want holiday weddings need to be aware: 1. prices won’t be cut, 2. vendors won’t be available, 3. guests will not be happy. Weddings are stressful enough…don’t add more stress to your day. There are 52 weekend to choose from.